Today’s topic from the toddler: Pick your battles and fight wisely.
These are my new questions I will be asking myself as I parent and make my own decisions on how I want to live this blessing of a life I’ve been given.
On the way to putting my son down for a nap the other day, he was exhausted and asked for “cooking.”
That could mean anything in the kitchen, honestly, but this time we knew it was a wooden spoon he was pining for, it was dirty and had just been put into the sink.
We told him after it’s washed, he can play with it. After he wakes up.
We lay down as a family (thank you COVID-19 💖) for a couple of minutes…
For a minute he was fine, but then he began to obsess about the spoon, eventually working himself up to bawling.
My husband held him, I tried, he was inconsolable. Or was he?
Now, let me just say... my son’s not a crier. There are, of course, times he will get frustrated and isn’t able to express himself - he's still a toddler - but I’ve been around a lot of babies and toddlers…he doesn’t cry very much at all.
So, I thought for a minute, “why am I making this a thing?”
“What lesson am I really trying to teach him here?”
That he can’t get what he wants? That’s a ridiculous statement that people want to believe, but isn’t true. In time, with persistence and determination, we really can get whatever we want in this life.
If you've read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, the first chapter is all about that concept. Same with essentially the whole book Science of Getting Rich by Thomas Troward. Most personal development and self-help books teach this topic, that you CAN get what you want. Probably not in the time we expect, but we really can get what we want.
Also, what good is it going to do to indoctrinate such ignorant thoughts into a less-than-two-year-old’s head?
Is he actually capable of understanding any of it?
So what, again, is this for?
How long does it actually take for me to get up and wash the dang spoon, dry it, and hand it to him?
And, is that going to teach him that his mother will give him things? OH NO! I hope he doesn’t learn that I love him and want him to have everything he wants in the world. (sarcasm, for those without a detector, like my husband). Because the truth is, I do. And I don’t see a problem with that.
What if he grows up and is extremely generous and wants to help others feel the joy he’s felt? (sounds good to me!) And what if he gets hurt by people who take advantage of him?
Good question, me.
I tell him way beforehand, “not everyone is going to want you to have everything you want in life. But as long as it’s not at anyone’s expense, and as long as it adds to the world, keep going for it.
And there will be people along the way that will try to take, that’s their reality. You still can give, son. Give to anyone and everyone you feel led to give to.
Be kind, be happy, be courageous, be persistent, be unlimited.
Because you CAN get what you want in life. You just have to believe you can!”
And, who the hell am I if I’m a MINDSET coach... spending days, weeks, months...BREAKING these exact limiting beliefs in adults that have plagued them for years, often decades?
Who am I to NOT START my son with the BEST mindset and beliefs possible??? WHY on earth would I subject him to inaccurate assumptions placed on us by people who weren’t successful?
I don’t know of any EXTREMELY successful people that said nobody else could do it. In fact, most share how they did it, and for most of them, it was with a mentor who’d done it too.
As far as I know, success leaves clues, and MINDSET is one of the biggest. Before ANYTHING else works, the right mindset has to exist - or be installed - or nothing will.
So yeah, son. Take the wooden spoon to bed. It’s not dangerous.
There’s absolutely NO reason for me to teach you a lesson (that I don’t even believe to be true - AND you wouldn’t understand anyway) when the world is going to try to teach it to you anyway, only for someone like me to have to come in and UNTEACH it.
Nope, not today.
Join my mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Your information stays securely protected.